I’ve seen things I didn’t want to see. I’ve heard things I didn’t want to hear. But I’ve ignored it all. I made excuses in my head and I convinced myself that everything will be okay within the time being. No. I’m so naive and so in denial that I don’t realize what is really reality. I have to face it. I can’t have things go my way and I can’t change how other people feel. But with that being said, I know what’s right for me. It hurts and its hard to accept it but I can handle it. I’ve been through so much worst that what I’m feeling right now can’t even compare. What happened, happened and all I can do is learn from it and move on. I need to stop looking back; live in the present and just hope for the best. We’re done and I need to finally get that in my head. If things were to change, it should of happened. All I’m doing is hurting myself and making things harder for me. I need to stop looking, I need to stop trying, and I need to stop caring as much.
I feel you. It’s been such a tough process to move on [in any direction], and as much as I push myself to move on [because I need it], I often find myself slipping back into habits as if they never went out of context. I don’t wish to labor myself like this any longer. It’s difficult to withdraw love from somebody. It’s even much more difficult to transform it into self-love, but it’s gotta happen.
Take it easy, yo. As much as I’ve tried to rush this process, I’ve gotta understand the power and the importance of taking baby steps. Healing is an ongoing process. Be gentle with yourself. Be generous with yourself.